Every time I fly Qantas and I mean EVERY TIME there are delays. With every delay, I watch the Qantas ground staff looking at each other, rolling their eyes and probably thinking "Here we go again". Yesterday's was a doozy. I drag my arse out of bed @ 4.45 so I can get up, eat, shower, dress and be there in time for my 7 am flight, scheduled to land Wellington 8am. 7.20 and we're still on the ground. The lovely ummm "air hostess" who has coached me on how to throw the emergency door overboard in case of a survivable disaster is nowhere to be seen. 7.25 "Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to apologise for the delay, there's errr oh yeah, ice on the plane meaning we can't take off." Right, so I gawk out the window to see if I can spot the groundcrew rushing forth with their hair dryers to de-ice the plane. Nothing. But hello, the cargo door is open. They wouldn't be fibbing now, would they? 7.45 "Umm yes folks, there is still ice out there. But we can leave at 7.55". Hello? The ice will melt in 10 minutes with no intervention? Clunk - cargo door closes. Sole ground crew saunters around outside. Prick. 7.55 engines come on. And we're away. I still can't see any ice. Why don't they just jolly well have hot water bottles for planes? How come the US airforce can land Galaxy's down in Antarctic? I means that's a whole fuck load of ice down there. Atmosphere aboard plane is tetchy. Suspicion is that there are lots aboard who got the $69 cheapie flight (I did, why else would I get up so early?) so we can all get fucked, its hardly a profit making exercise for Qantas now is it? Land at wellington and its like bullrush, cabin crew is swept away in a humanic tidal wave. Cab drivers perish under the onslaught. At the bank I'm going to see, they are pissed and rightly so, because I got delayed last time as well, by.... farkin Qantas. They didn't even give us an excuse that time, maybe we got an honest driver.
The $69 return flight wasn't much better. It was.... (you know it, don't you?) DELAYED. Fark me dead with a pick-axe handle!!!!! The poor ground crew lady was trying to explain why the 'Final Call' sign was flashing when in fact the plane had only just arrived. People were getting anxious and approaching the poor harrassed cow. Finally we get aboard, I turn to the bloke next to me and ask him his opinion of Qantas's service... "Well" he says, "I fly to and from Wellington up to 3 times per week. I find their service to be exemplary compared to my companys'"
"Who do you work for then?" I ask....
"I'm a Finance Director for the Air Force" says he...
FARKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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